Would you trust a journalist who came to an interview wearing a T-shirt? Maybe not.

Your first impression would be even worse if the interview took place in the virtual world of Second Life, where that T-shirt is the mark of a total newbie.

Now that my experience in Second Life has advanced me to the level of not-quite-total newbie, I decided that my avatar deserved a makeover. That was easier said than done, however.

Here’s the twisting tale of my Second Life shopping expedition, which took me past a virtual nightclub, a forest that seemed to be full of sex enthusiasts, the “Deutsch Camping Treffpunkt” site, and “8000 sq. meters of things that go boom.”

Eventually I found a virtual menswear shop and, in the process, tested the SL Browser software developed by a UCI computer sciences professor and being brought to market through the Tech Coast Works incubator, which is part of the Orange County Business Incubator Network. It was an enlightening experience.

I give SL Browser a thumbs-up.

8:45 a.m. — T-shirt man
Since I’m writing an article about business plans for SL Browser and other high-tech inventions coming out of the UCI, I decided to see how well it works as a search engine for the virtual world of Second Life.

In my test, my plan is to use it to locate clothing for my Second Life avatar, ColinE Shepherd, who has made only a few forays into that virtual world — once for an online press conference, once for an interview with the avatar of SL Browser co-founder Crista Lopes, and several times to try out the SkyTran simulation she has developed there.

Because I’ve bought ColinE no virtual clothes, he’s been running around in Second Life with nothing on but the basics that Linden Lab provides for first-time visitors to its virtual world — a T-shirt, pants and shoes.

9 a.m. — Take me to your headquarters
I succeed in getting a couple of snapshots of ColinE’s appearance before this makeover attempt. (See picture above.) That takes a while, because I’m not yet used to the movement and camera controls. Now, on to SL Browser. Prof. Lopes, one of the two developers of SL Browser, told me I can find it online (outside Second Life) by Googling it. It will then let me teleport my avatar to SL Browser headquarters, which is where I want to start. I’ve seen Prof. Lopes’s avatar Diva Canto visit that site, so I’m eager to visit there myself (my SL self, that is).

Google quickly locates SLbrowser for me. Unsurprisingly, it’s at SLBrowser.com.

I enter a search for “SL Browser headquarters.” It replies, “Nothing found.” Drat.

9:15 a.m. — Headquarters search brings up sexbed and the bomb store
This is going slowly, in part because I’m writing it up step by step. I try searching for “SL Browser” in the SL Browser, and that’s more successful. I now have a list of six locations in Second Life where I can find the browser controls. I click on the “Map/Go” link next to the first one, a listing for Apfelland.

That gives me the option of teleporting ColinE to Apfelland, which is described as “apfelland Deutschland German Grundstuecke Germany Party Deutsch Camping Treffpunkt Newbie Freebies.” My avatar’s German isn’t very gut, so I look elsewhere.

The second listing is for a location at FairChang Calypso SE. That’s more possible for ColinE, but it sounds more like a place to go wearing fancy clothes, not when you need clothes. Its description is: “Tired of the same old boring nightclubs on SL? Want something fresh, different? ?? The ORIGINAL .:Club Dimensions:. Contests, Games, Prizes, Shopping, Legal Sploders, Live DJs, Dancing, Friendly Atomosphere, Events, Arcade, Lounge.?”

Sploders?

[Later, I learn that Sploder is software for creating Flash-animation games for use on Web sites. Sploder games are banned from Second Life if they’re used for gambling.]

The third listing is Idia, which confronts me with a picture of a haughty artistic-looking dude and the name “Idia Railside Gallery and Sculpture Garden.” I notice that this site and the previous one are labeled “Mature.” That’s a little nerve-wracking. So I skip it and also the fourth option: Dutch Beach Resort.

The fifth location is Huntsman, illustrated by a peaceful woodland scene and accompanied by the scary description, “Heaven,Romantic,Art,Flowers,Plants,picturescreen, waterfalls, waterfall, nature, garden, forest, trees, park, beach, intimate, dating, free sex, hangout, poseballs, gifts, gift shop, sculpted, cave, rock, skin, shape, hair, clothes, skybox, sexbed, lovprim hous.” Maybe “free sex” is just an all-purpose term that’s used to attract young men’s attention in search engines, but I’m not taking a chance.

The sixth and final location SL Browser lists for me is Red Winsor, offering “Over 8000 sq. meters of things that go boom.” No. I don’t want ColinE’s new jacket to conceal a suicide bomb.

9:45 a.m. — Not the Zen business casual
New strategy: I’ll search for the clothes rather than for the SL Browser headquarters. I’m aiming for a somewhat formal look, so I try searching for “suit and tie.” That brings up 519 options, many with photos, and prices in Linden dollars (about US $4.08 for L$1000). They look too formal, so I try “jacket and tie.” I get a list of 495 options, with photos and prices.

How about white suits for L$300? Too formal.

House of Zen business casual attire? Possible, but prices aren’t listed.

Menswear Store at AlleyCat Studios? “Mens clothing guy shirts pants accessories shoes jacket coat trench goth gothic pvc latex jeans polo button collared collar tie.” I decide to try that one.

10 a.m. — Show me the money
Before I buy anything, I figure that I should buy L$1000 for $4.08 “real” dollars. But that’s not possible, it seems — at least not where I’m looking. The screen says there’s a $25 minimum when I move money into my Second Life account from my real-world credit card. I decide to grin and bear it, hoping that this will count as a reimbursable business expense at the Register.

After several minutes of negotiating with Second Life account pages, I seem to have charged $25 to my credit card, but I haven’t yet figured out how to exchange that money for Linden dollars. (I’m sure that any SL veterans who are reading this are sneering by this point.)

The program tells me that there’s either a glitch or I’ve reached my $25 credit limit.

10:15 a.m. — Not Chippendales, and an error
I decide to just go window-shopping at AlleyCat Studios. In the SL Browser list, I click on “Go/Map” and “Teleport.” The computer makes a “Whoosh!” sound and suddenly ColinE is there, facing lots of display windows. They contain:

• A crimson suit. No way.
• Skimpy suits for L$500 that look like rejects from a Chippendales strip-tease show.
• A fairly plain jacket and tie for L$250, which seems possible. My real-world self is getting very bored.

I stretch out my avatar’s arm to point to the jacket. I prepare to click the “Buy” button, but then an error message pops up on the screen. It tells me I’ve exceeded my Second Life credit limit, even though I’ve never bought a single thing in Second Life and I have $25 of real-world money in my account.

I declare this shopping trip at an end.

Maybe I’ll see what SL Browser can find for me under “credit repair.”

Unfortunately, it has no such help to offer. “Nothing found” is all it says.

Will I go back into Second Life? When I’m working, perhaps. I’ll probably sort through the money issue and buy a decent jacket for my poor avatar.

But for pleasure? Not soon. The world that SL enthusiasts call RL is challenging and rewarding enough for me right now.

For more information on Second Life:

• SL Glossary from “The Grid Live”
• “New World Notes” blog
• “NevilleHobson.com” about virtual communities
• Reuters blog and other coverage of Second Life, including how businesses use Second Life

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 12th, 2008 at 5:45 pm and is filed under Games and gaming companies, OCBIN, Tech Coast Works, UCI. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.